I finally finished and mailed out all of my Christmas Cards! I'm so proud of myself!

Here is the list again of those of you who will be getting a card from me in the mail, SOON! And it's a big secret, but there is a "gift" that comes in every card!

Excited??? I AM! I cannot WAIT to hear from you guys!

=Ancient-Hoofbeats
=boribaby
~CriminalSpirit
=daughterofthestars
*eldery
*ferralsoul
*freeburgfreak
*Hathien603
=Horse-Lover95
*Horsesnhurricanes
=JaffaHusky
~Jakedau
=January-27
*LittleRedToyota
=Meelz
*Niarbon
*noblestallion
~Nuuhku87
*Pliochippus
*pookyns-5
~RoobleRoo
~Shade703
~Soccermustang
~starlight-mustang
=Sunset-Valley
*sweetbay
~SweetLittleFilly
=Twilight-Veil
=Wild-Hearts
~wolfgrl1492
*WSTopDeck

Don't forget to note me when you receive your card!

Everyone is going through rough times right now, and it is on my heart to share this with you.

A lot of you know that I am not really a person that talks about God much. Some of you know I believe, and from time to time we have discussed religious things through note or on MSN. I am not trying to shove Jesus down your throat, so if you do not want to read what I have to say, then just delete this journal and forget I ever wrote it. Those of you who are interested however, and need a little faith restored in your life, please read on.

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I woke up this morning with this scripture on my heart. Usually I keep things to myself, but something is compelling me to share my revelations with you. Someone needs to hear this story.

Matthew 22-32

22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat was already a considerable distance[a] from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

29"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

--------------------

Times are rough for everyone right now. Like Peter, we want to draw close to God even in turbulent storms, but instead of focusing on him we focus on the events surrounding us. Those events make us lose our faith, and in doing so we start to fall through the deep, dark water.

All I have to say, is don't focus on what's going bad in your life. You may be having relationship troubles. You may be in a financial hard place. You may be all alone, without friends or family. You may be really ill and unable to take care of yourself. But none of these things can compare to the love and hope and peace that God can give you, even during the worst of times.

The storm may be blowing hard around you. The water may be dark, deep, and swarming with sharks. You may have stepped out of the boat, walked a distance, and then remembered that you didn't know how to swim.

STOP worrying! Stop DOUBTING! STOP thinking about what you cannot do, and do not have, and start believing and putting faith in God that he will bear you safely over the most treacherous waters; just like this story of Peter. Keep your eyes on his holy face, and even if for a moment you lose sight of him and begin to sink, call out for help and he will grab your hand and pull you out of danger, no matter what the circumstances.

Hallelujah. Isn't God great? Did this open anyone else's eyes like it did mine?

Here is a list of updates I think you guys should know about I would go in depth like I usually do, but I'm just too sick guys. I'm sorry.

1. David and I have gotten back together. He flew in to see me and discuss things, and I realized how stupid I was being. I think I was pushing him away because I was in so much pain and I just couldn't think about anything else.

The truth is I need him, and he needs me, and we love each other. So, things are on the up and up there.

2. I have taken in another bunny. His name is Loaf, and he is my best friend Carrie's rabbit who I am taking care of until it gets warmer. He's 8 months old, and he is so fluffy! He looks like a little black sheep because the excessive fluff makes his head look too small for his body I will upload pictures as soon as he sits still long enough for me to take a good one.

3. My father got laid off from his job today; a week before Christmas. He usually has no trouble finding side jobs while he waits for work from the Electricians Union, but no one has the means to hire him right now. I asked my mom if we were going to be okay financial-wise, and she said it was in God's hands. Pray for us to get some work, please. We need the money badly.

4. I sent out half of my Christmas Cards today. The other half (hopefully) will be sent out on Monday. I have been in so much pain I have just been unable to tend to the 30 or so cards I have to get done. Each has a personalized message in it, so it takes me some time. Forgive me if they arrive at your house after Christmas, I am trying really hard.

Here is the list of people I am sending cards to. It would be great if you could note me when you receive yours, even if it's just a short "Got your card, thanks!".

=Ancient-Hoofbeats
=boribaby
~CriminalSpirit
=daughterofthestars
*eldery
*ferralsoul
*freeburgfreak
*Hathien603
=Horse-Lover95
*Horsesnhurricanes
=JaffaHusky
~Jakedau
=January-27
*LittleRedToyota
=Meelz
*Niarbon
*noblestallion
~Nuuhku87
*Pliochippus
*pookyns-5
~RoobleRoo
~Shade703
~Soccermustang
~starlight-mustang
=Sunset-Valley
*sweetbay
~SweetLittleFilly
=Twilight-Veil
=Wild-Hearts
~wolfgrl1492
*WSTopDeck

If I've forgotten you, please let me know!

Well, I'm done for now. I was in so much pain, and so weak today I had to put a chair in the tub to take a shower. Hopefully I will see you all soon in better health

Love you guys!
Sparkles

Thinking of what you ask? Everything...and it's really starting to get on my last nerve.

I have always been very proficient at speaking and writing. I seem to have a knack for knowing exactly what to say, and when, and say it differently than everyone else. It's not something I asked to be good at, but people tell me all the time that I have "a special gift" when it comes to those two things. Words have always flowed effortlessly from my mouth, or my mind, and I guess I just always expected it to be so. I mean, it's like driving right? Once you learn how to do it well, you theoretically should continue to do it well unless you chose not to.

Lately, I have noticed a significant change when it comes to speaking and writing. I always proofread everything I write, whether it be chapters to a story, poetry, or even these journals. Usually I correct spelling, and grammar occasionally, but recently I've been correcting everything.

When I reread my things, some sentences I write just don't make sense. Things that I should not be making mistakes with. For instance, changing tenses. You know, like past (I went) and present (I'm going). I can understand how newbies would make this mistake, in a paragraph or chapter. However, I seem to even be screwing this up even when it comes to sentences.

Other times, I can't even tell you what I did to make a sentence sound or feel wrong. It's just, totally unlike me, and I am very distressed about it. It has to be pretty evident if I'm beginning to notice it. How about you? Have you noticed it?

I'm terrified that this is a worsening of the "brain fog" symptom that comes with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I don't really mind if I walk into the kitchen and forget why I went there, or forget what I'm talking about occasionally...but forgetting something like this is just, devastating. What if it is "brain fog" and it just continually gets worse as time goes on? Will I even be coherent in 5 years? Writing is everything to me. Otherwise how will I be able to talk to you guys and comment?

I guess it could also be the new medicine I'm on. They just increased my dose again a couple of days ago...so maybe I just need to adjust and get used to it? I didn't notice this "thinking problem" until after I started Lyrica, so maybe the drug is affecting my brain somehow? I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I can live with a side effect like this!

What do you all think? Have you noticed that I've been "tripping" over my words, and not speaking as well as I always have? If you have, when did you first realize that I wasn't my proficient self?

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Christmas Wishlist
1. A white Christmas is a must!
2. Christmas Cards from DA friends (note me for my address!)
3. Giftart of course! Of any of my OC's or, if you're feeling really frisky, I would LOVE giftart of my snugglebun, Chloe. Or my German Shepherd, Ayla!
4. Any Breyer Traditional size Thoroughbreds or Appaloosas.
5. Miscellaneous books and other things.
6. An extension to my Subscription
7. An AbcirclePro [link]
8. A Chloe CSS!

Check out my Amazon Wishlist here: [link]

Hey guys How have you been? How is your Christmas Shopping going? It's a freaking zoo out there isn't it!

For the past week, I have been working pretty much exclusively on Christmas giftart, Christmas Cards, and secret surprises for my DA friends (Don't ask, I'm not telling!). You're going to be seeing a lot of stellar uploads from me as soon as I get past the linearting stage on these pieces and actually get around to coloring them.

Question. Would you rather I not shade the pieces, and more people get giftart, or that I shade the pieces and less people get giftart? Who knows, I may just work really hard and shade the pieces anyway, but there is just so many people I want to give a giftart to and just not enough time! You know I would give you all giftart if I could And believe me, I'm trying my best to make sure everyone is included.

Well, it's time for a nap and then back to work on my Christmas Gifts for you all. Today, for the first time in weeks I went out running errands with my mom, and I am just exhausted. I am blown away by the amount of stamina and strength I must have had before I got sick. I could walk around a store and be on my feet all day with no trouble. Now I walk around the store for 10 mins, and even with my cane my muscles are just screaming.

I hope this journal made sense. I'm so tired, sometimes I forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence. Gotta love the brain fog symptom! As someone with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome put it, "It's not just 'where are the keys' but also 'what are the keys for?'" That's exactly how I'm feeling right now.

Love you guys!
Sparkles


Christmas Wishlist
1. A white Christmas is a must!
2. Christmas Cards from DA friends (note me for my address!)
3. Giftart of course! Of any of my OC's or, if you're feeling really frisky, I would LOVE giftart of my snugglebun, Chloe. Or my German Shepherd, Ayla!
4. Any Breyer Traditional size Thoroughbreds or Appaloosas.
5. Miscellaneous books and other things.
6. An extension to my Subscription
7. An AbcirclePro [link]
8. A Chloe CSS!

Check out my Amazon Wishlist here: [link]