I used to be a strong, agile person. Full of energy and ambition, and always on the go. There wasn't a moment in my life where I ever thought that would change, and sometimes I wish I had.

Don't worry. This isn't going to be a "pity me" journal with a long, grueling, depressing rant about me and my struggles with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I'm sure you're all getting sick of those, so I'm glad I don't have the energy to write one. This is merely a journal to update all of you (who want to know) what's been going on in my life.

About 3 weeks ago, my boyfriend ~daveforyou came in to stay with me for the summer. A friend of his gave him an XBox360, so he brought that up with him to test it out with me, and I am in love with it! Heh, don't get me wrong tho, I don't play the thing myself, just watch him play. I was never good at video games, but watching him play really helps pass the time for me when I'm not feeling well. It's a wonderful change from watching the TV all the time.

Aside from that, there really hasn't been much going on. For a while there back in April I was feeling rather well, but it seems that that period has past and I'm back to being unwell again most of the time. I spend most of my day laying on the floor with my bun and playing with her, while David plays a game on the XBox. Sometimes we'll watch a movie although I'm not a real big movie buff, or when I feel extremely well we will garden or hop on over to the barn to just visit the horses.

David had me working out for a while a couple days ago. Everynight we would do arm and stomach exercises, and I would really push myself because I really do want to get back into shape. But then, I think it was Sunday, I had a very horrible tired day. I felt to exhausted and weak, I could barely dress myself. That was also the day I was supposed to go help out at a horseshow, and I was really looking forward to it. Oh well...maybe next time.

This weekend I am supposed to fly to Kentucky with David to spend some time with him down there. He is planning on taking me to Breyerfest, and Churchill Downs, and the Horse Museum. Anything and everything I like as long as it cheers me up and makes me feel better. He really is a doll, and loves me for me despite my illness.

I really hope I am well enough to go to Kentucky with him. For a couple weeks now I have been developing a bit of a breathing problem, asthma if you will, which is preventing me from doing the little bit I could do before. -sigh- I have a doctors appointment tomorrow for the breathing thing, so we'll see what's going on with that real soon. I swear I keep the doctors around here in business!

As far as artwork...I'm terribly sorry. I just havn't had the will or the strength to work on a piece. I am morbidly uninspired as well, which isn't helping things either. My inbox is also very backed up, so forgive me for not commenting immediately on everyones submissions. I plan on doing it, I just need to feel well....so, I guess it could be quite a while.

On a last note, a very important note is this. I applied for Social Security Disability Benefits about 2 months ago. They take a long time to evaluate you and might even decide to send me to their doctors a couple times before determining if I qualify. That doesn't bother me tho, I'm not faking being sick or lying about anything. But please, if you do pray, keep me in your hearts regarding this. I am terrified about being a burden on someone financially...and if I got this I wouldn't have to be afraid of that anymore.


Sparkles